"I just want to go!", exclaimed Autumn with a slight hint of frustration last night. She was done, we were here way too long. However, we made it! We made it to the hotel at about 11 and fell fast asleep. Autumn had a great night. However, she peed the bed which is one of the side effects of chemo - I sill certainly take that over the host of other side effects!

We are back in the hospital this morning for a shorter day, only about 8 hours today. Although that is still long, given yesterday's perspective, it will feel shorter!

Sage and Lindsey are having fun scrap booking (punctuated by arguments of course!) and in a moment we will walk down to the Farmer's Market they have in the hospital cafeteria each Wednesday.

Almost there! The girls have been scrap booking their little hearts out today at the hospital. When we first arrived, they told us we were not going to be able to go to a hotel tonight and that we would be here in the hospital the whole week...bummer! About an hour after hearing this news, the oncologist came in to let us know that we should be able to be released tonight, hooray! At this point, we have been here about 13 hours and certainly ready to go.

Autumn is absolutely amazing and handled this insane day of chemo so very well!! I am so very proud of her! Tomorrow is a shorter day in general, only about 8 hours total, so I think we can manage it and hopefully she can have another good day!

We awoke at 5:45 this morning to make our early trek to Santa Barbara. Our car was packed with clothes and crafts galore to spend 3 days together at Cottage, how fun! Autumn had to have a bunch of tests early this morning to make sure that she was "ready" to have this lengthy chemo. In the meantime we are all "scrapbooking", a great way to pass some time together and preserve some fabulous memories.

Autumn is learning all of the terminology, it is pretty cute! She is currently taking my "blood pressure" and is giving me a "flush", which occurs each time she has chemo. It's amazing how little ones take life is stride, I learn something new every day, I appreciate something new every day, what a gift! You know in a short period of time, she has had 2 major surgeries, lost all of her hair and gets shots on a regular basis, has a portal sticking out of her skin...and she still loves to laugh...god how I wish I had that sense of innocence, that incredible ability to live in the present.


"Take only Photos, Steal only Time, Leave only Footprints"
-Author Unknown

This past weekend we had a small hat party for Autumn with her friends from preschool. She was with most of them the Friday before the weekend to play a bit and have lunch as she missed them so much and they were happy to see her. You never know what other little children are thinking of, how they process something like this.

When she went to school, all of the kids showed one another their "owies" from various parts of their bodies, it was quite endearing to watch! It was a way they could all connect with Autumn, how empathetic four year olds can be! :)

Autumn seemed to have quite a bit of energy this weekend. I am sure the lack of radiation treatments for a week has been a welcomed break to her little body! We spent some time at the Bob Jones Trail yesterday and she was content to ride her tricycle for awhile punctuated by longer moments in the stroller, a sort of safety zone.

This week will be at Cottage for 4 days. Last week was relatively easy which allows for this week to be more acceptable (we can even talk about it without tears). The big girls and I will be there from Tuesday through Thursday afternoon and Jeff will stay with her from Thursday evening until Friday when she can come home. There is a hotel across the street where we have been sleeping. An organization called the "Teddy Bear Cancer Foundation" graciously offers families like ours free rooms for up to a week at a time, we are quite thankful!

Speaking of being thankful, we have had so many amazing meals that have been delivered by all of you, how wonderful it has been! I feel as though I haven't cooked for a month, what a treat! :)

Well...she DID it! Autumn was just amazing!!! We had just a small "party" for her as she was brave enough to just have her hair shaved right off! Jeff went first, then grandpa, then Autumn! She just sat there, calm as ever and was ready to have it gone. I never would have thought it could have been that easy.

She is so cute! Her continued concern is that people may not know who she is, they will say, "who is that? It looks like Autumn's eyes and skin and legs, but maybe it's not Autumn". How one processes something so chaotic, especially a four year old, is something I will never comprehend.

We made it to Santa Barbara yesterday for a quick chemo treatment; I wish they were all that easy! It literally takes 15 minutes and you are out the door! Next week however, we will be in the hospital for 4 days, from Tuesday to Friday. Sage and Lindsey will be with us for a few days (scrapbooking :) and then Jeff will come up for Thursday and Friday. Only one of those agents gave Autumn a hard time a few weeks ago, it seemed to give her a terrible head ache. Now that we know that, they can give her Tylenol right away.

Autumn woke up yesterday to find A LOT more hair on her pillow. When it decides to fall, there is no holding back. I brushed her hair in the morning which left a clump the size of a small lemon on the brush. An hour later, I brushed it again, only to find an equal amount had again fallen. I continued to brush throughout the day, each time removing so much hair that by the end of the day, she only had about half of her hair remaining.

This morning she really only has wisps left...it still looks so cute because she is so little and it really doesn't bother her at all! In fact, she is ready to shave the rest off because she is constantly annoyed with the hair falling in her mouth and all over her clothes! If only we could be so accepting as adults!

Tonight grandpa, dad and Autumn will have a little head shaving party...