On the way to school this morning, the sun filtered through the car window onto the soft fluff garnishing her sweet head, wonderful peach fuzz! Her hair has begun to grow in the past, inbetween chemo rounds, but this is something different, and it’s everywhere! 

Images of Autumn with beautiful long hair came to mind and I imagined her going to school with Sage and Lindsey next year, a new life for a little girl who has gone through so much. It can be a new beginning, a wonderful happy new life!

They say those things that don’t destroy you make you stronger; she has undoubtedly a very strong spirit that will surely assist her throughout her entire life. I consider how different this whole experience has made her, will make her and how that will affect her future decision making abilities. Now that she has seen the dark side of life I wonder if she will be able to live more lightly. A gift that no parent would give willingly to their own child that may have unforeseen benefits for years to come.

It was about a year ago that Autumn fell in the beauty school where I was having my hair cut. My sense of time has been so distorted this past year and I am surprised how fast it seems to have gone now that it is in the past. It is similar to the last few months of pregnancy. Huge and uncomfortable, you cannot wait to have the baby, but about a month after giving birth, it seems as though that story belonged to someone else. I am beginning to feel this same distance and it feels good.