Sage and Lindsey had their first basketball game today! Nanie, grandpa and the girls met me after my usual Saturday biology class in Santa Maria and we headed south on the 101 to LA to join grandpa's family in a holiday celebration. Uncle Adam, Auntie Alma and Camila were there as well. We have been attending their family's Christmas celebration for over 20 years which seems unbelievable to me, just how much time has passed. Most of them we only see once a year, I think it was tough for them to see Autumn as it was their only encounter with her since a year ago when we had no clue what she had brewing inside her tummy.

The family tradition includes skits acted out by each family. Grandpa had the girls in his skit this year and it was hilarious! A HUGE Green Bay fan, grandpa's skit was a tribute to the undefeated Packers, an easy target. Autumn was the grand finale, carrying a GB sign and wearing a jersey adornded with cheese dice and a nice, big slice of cheese right on her head. Santa dropped in for a quick hello and a few photos, what a busy guy and how thoughtful!

Tonight a little boy asked Autumn why she didn't have any hair but she didn't seem bothered by it. I have no idea what could have been different, perhaps it was just in the joy of the season, but she wasn't upset and that was good to experience.

The girls are all asleep at the moment, undoubtedly dreaming of Christmas...

Autumn spent a few hours with Grandpa this morning which was great for both of them. Sage and Lindsey had the opportunity to try out a local climbing gym this afternoon with their Girl Scout Troop. There were no harnesses, just walls at various angles and textures open to climb and all of the girls loved it! Autumn and a friend had a blast playing with the dusty, white chalk filling small sacks that were strewn about everywhere on the floor, what a fun mess! Oh how she thrives when she is with other little kids! I can see the happiness grow in her sweet face when she is among playmates. She needs and wants to be recognized as “one of the gang” and feels miserably left out when she hasn’t had that in awhile.

“I miss my family that I haven’t met.” While on the ride home from school today, Sage and Lindsey were talking about their ancestors, who they were and what they meant to them. I just loved Autumn’s comment, how little kids can be so loving at such a young, innocent age it amazes me.

Except from the long hospital stays and the really rough tantrums that Autumn can have, life has been good and I am very thankful for that. Some days are more challenging than others and for some reason today was one of those days. Normally, it’s as if everything feels fairly normal, fairly good and then all of the sudden a small, seemingly inconsequential interruption can change the course of one day. I try not to give those moments much energy, but it isn’t always that easy. The interaction between Autumn, Sage and Lindsey is great at times (I am assuming this is normal for most sisters), but at other times, it can be so difficult! Sage will say that she feels Autumn gets everything she wants and it’s unfair. Lindsey won’t verbalize that, but her actions display the same sentiment. It feels like there needs to be some sort of play book, something to which I can refer to in case of emergency or other trauma. In a sense I guess we all reinvent the wheel at some point, however useless that seems.

My friend treated me to a meditation yoga class this evening at our local gym. It was relaxing and wonderful and just what I needed, thanks Roxanne!

Autumn was able to attend preschool today, she was so excited she could hardly stand it! A princess she was, all day long and everyone just loved it. She heard a lot of positive feedback from various people in the store, at school and in the hospital.

We needed no transfusion today, what a relief! Her hemoglobin was 7.4 (it has come down a bit from last week-but again that’s to be expected) and her platelets were 25 (up from 20 last week!) She still has a lot of bruising on her skin, her head and parts of her little arms and legs. The nurses at Cottage said that was pretty typical and that some of them may persist for months after treatment. There are a lot of other crappy side effects that one may experience such as hearing loss.

The good news is that we are almost to the finish line!!!!!

No bactrum? No shots? No clinic? No hospital? “Nope!” I answered with a sign of relief. These are the questions that begin each and every day at our house in the morning, usually over a bowl of cereal at the breakfast table. We are literally counting the weeks, almost the days! I find myself blurting it out to EVERYONE I meet on the street…that we only have a few weeks left (as if they all need to know our story). “Hello, this is Autumn, yes she has cancer, but we are almost done with treatments, it’s been a very long haul, but by the New Year we should be finished!” I must have said this 20 times today, I wonder if I could see myself what I would think about my nervousness as well as excitement.

Autumn had her beautiful Cinderella dress on today and it served well as we met Santa at his lovely abode downtown in Mission Plaza today. He was charming and warm and instantly loved little Autumn. One of my old students was taking the photos and graciously donated the photo to us, so I am leaving it here to share with you.

No transfusion!!! What a great day it was on Friday…although it took 3 hours to determine, at the very least we didn’t have to have any new blood, Autumn’s body is once again reprogrammed to rebuild her own cells. I can imagine what her bone marrow must be saying, “stop the madness!! We’d had enough!”

We have an official date set to celebrate Autumn’s END-OF-CHEMO and 5th BIRTHDAY!!!!! It will be on Sunday, January 8th at 12 noon, please EVERYONE join us! It will be held at the Exploration Station in Grover Beach for a very kid-friendly event.

Autumn seems to be doing so very well today! I hope she is recovering quickly from this last round of chemo and is set to end this crazy chapter of her life.

While inside a coffee shop today I saw an old friend. Autumn was being as silly as ever and began singing out loud (very loud) “Oh…who’s going to eat a bagel…I am!!” to the tune of something silly she created in her head. She continued with this song over and over so many times that people must have thought she was ADD, it was a funny moment in time. The great news is that she can frequently get away with most of the silly things in life we all want to do but feel too embarrassed to do. People often take a look and her and usually become very sympathetic, loving, giving and helpful. It’s amazing, we all really do poses these qualities we just don’t often share them with one another as often as we should.

During this silly moment, my friend made her way over to our table to greet us and she introduced us to a friend of hers who was standing by her side. This beautiful, amazing woman began to share a little bit of her story with us. She looked at Autumn and said, “I am bald just like you!” Of course no one could see that because she had a lovely wig and a warm, knit hat covering her head. She unveiled her baldness to Autumn and she instantly had a compadre in both heart and soul.

This woman had already battled cancer 7 years ago and it came back. She then battled it AGAIN about a year ago and it returned once again. She looks amazing, one would never guess what she has been through. She has done it all such as visiting a graveyard with her kids (11 and 9) and creating a bucket list in response to her daughter’s request. Hearing her story was inspiring and made me realize that we all have our stories, each one unique and as important as the last. No one leaves this planet alive; we all know that, but do we really live that way??? Where is your bucket list? I just started mine.