The familiar thick, pink liquid sat next to her cup of juice table this morning. “Do I have to take bactrim again?” she pleaded. She has a way of playing with the long teaspoon in which it is administered. Somedays we all chant, “Go Autumn, Go Autumn…” over and over again to make her feel special! Autumn has had to take bactrim every Saturday and Sunday for the past year and she simply cannot stand the taste. I tried it once (as did the rest of the family) and it didn’t seem so terrible to me, but nothing ever is when it isn’t obligatory. The antibiotic is a necessary precaution to her well being and we have to continue with its implementation for the next 3 months, then perhaps never again!

I can’t help but be haunted by the ugly thought that somehow Autumn could ever be in harms’ way again. If my mind goes there, even for a millisecond, I can freak out at the possibility. I hate that about our minds, it would be so wonderful to just shut them off sometimes, or at least mute them to the point of indistinguishable. Autumn has been such a trooper, she has gone through so much and she is now a healthy, happy little five year old girl, it is a wonderful thought and I love for my mind to remember this, to remember now, to remember the present moment. She has had a marvelous weekend so far playing with some of her favorite friends like Kiki and Scarlett who have been there for her every step of the way and for that I am so grateful!