Thursday, December 22, 2011

Absolutely amazing! Incredibly hard to believe that Monday may have been the very last time Autumn will have chemo IN the hospital. We still have two more weeks left, but each is a short visit at the clinic located across the street from Cottage Hospital. Both treatments are Vinchristine, short but not so sweet injections of a tiny vial of potent poison, awful to think to deeply about. The one crappy side effect is the joint pain, remember the rotating wrists pain that Autumn struggles with?

We arrived to SB at about 8:30 am Monday morning and we didn't leave until 10:30 at night. Fourteen long hours after which a night's stay in a hotel was the only viable option. I had brought many things to do that day, arts and crafts, books, movies but alas, Sage and Lindsey had their moments, and I tried, desperately at times, to show them just what Autumn has to go through time and again and to be supportive sisters. The big girls have been there many times before, but this was the last one and since they didn't have school, off we went! I know at some level Autumn appreciates the support however difficult it can be to have them all there. The nurses are so wonderful to all of us. Autumn's favorite "Naners" was there to help cheer her up!

This particular cocktail consisted of three types of chemo, the second being bright red in color and extremely irritating to her nose. The nurse enters the room in a special suit to protect herself in case of any leakage during the set up and administering process. The damage to the skin can be intense which leads one to wonder how on earth it can enter a little girls' blood stream and not destroy her veins. Although I know it is saving her life, it is tortuous to watch the chemo crawl slowly through the transparent plastic tubing as it makes it's way to her port. Almost instantly but without anticipation, she feels her nose tingle and within moments she can hardly stand the irritation is causes her and she begins to cry. I hate watching that that crap enter her vulnerable tiny frame, it's enough to drive a mother mad!

On a more positive note, we are staying at a local hotel with our aunt and uncle this week, a perfect staycation with a heated indoor pool and jacuzzi as well as a gourmet breakfast topped off with a luxurious happy hour, what else could anyone ask for? Autumn, Sage and Lindsey are having a ball!

One of the waiters approached us today to ask about Autumn, he revealed to her that he too had a port placed in his chest some three years ago and it was still there. Autumn was curious to see it and immediately showed him he own "bump". There is a club that exists who's members know each other's stories in ways the rest of us never will. The man began to cry as he told us his story then he reached for Autumn to give her a hug and his support. I have no idea if she can even understand how profoundly she has touched so many people with her own story, but I have a feeling she must.

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