“Is that when I falled?” asked Autumn this afternoon as we were sifting through photos in an attempt to create another album. She was looking at an earlier photo of herself with hair and it was almost as if she didn’t recognize herself! It hardly bothers her at all, her baldness, but on occasion she will make a comment that reminds you she is aware, most likely just hoping her hair DOES come back and sooner better than later!
Some of the photos, I have to admit, seem to have been taken SO very long ago when they were only taken 6 months ago. How time can play tricks on us, how days can seem so long yet months fly with no concern of each passing precious moment each day can offer.
While eating at a buffet last night in Vegas, someone set off the fire alarm. Although soon we were told more or less not to worry, for some strange reason it seemed so very real at the time. Everyone just sat around (including us), determining what move to make next. We took peculiar cues from one another and the bell droned on and on. What was most interesting was the reaction on Sage’s face. She was scared. Instantly she began to plot her escape and wanted nothing less than to return to our hotel room to pack all of her belongings and remain ready for action. She was determined to do so and I complied. In the room she ran around picking up everything she didn’t want to lose as my feeble attempt to explain to her that these were just materialistic thing failed miserably. We returned moments later in an attempt to finish our meals (after all it was an ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT buffet). Sage continued to plan an recreate every scenario in which to exit that she could think of to make the situation ok in her mind. A piece of me picked up on her anxiety and I followed her down that path for a moment, what if this was really it? We could just die right here in a huge flaming hot fire, in Vegas of all places, it’s not like that hasn’t happened before, right?
Humans are so weird, aren’t we? Maybe by allowing ourselves to think the worst, we can normalize just about anything, like your baby girl having cancer. Put it all in perspective, the lesson of the year for this family at the very least.
Love Autumn and her family