Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Autumn had a pretty good day yesterday minus the trip to the hospital! She was so bummed to learn that we had to go, even for a blood draw!

I remember how much that used to scare me, a poke in the arm, the thought of a needle. It’s enough to keep any kid awake for hours the night before in terrible anticipation. Autumn has to deal with that EVERY week, sometimes everyday within that week, ugh! She isn’t old enough to understand that she only has 10 more weeks of this stuff, she must think it is her new life and nothing less.

My father had diabetes from about the age of 16. He had to give himself insulin injections twice a day, every day, for the rest of his life. When I was little I thought that was so scary, such a hard thing to do forever for anyone. I thought to myself, “If I have diabetes one day, I too will have to do what my father does, everyday. I wasn’t sure I could have handled that as a child, it seemed so daunting.” I can’t forget those feelings, those emotions, because I know that Autumn is sensing that every day and may not always know how to express herself. She has a tendency to get wildly frustrated at the drop of a hat with those most near to her heart which can be so difficult for any of us. Sage and Lindsey can become very aggravated with her which makes matters worse, but they just don’t have the skills to deal with what is happening (I talk as if I do!).

I went to a meditation group last night and all I can say is that it was very calming. It is something that I have never really spent a whole lot of time focusing on, but it seems that those who do really benefit from what is has to offer. Raising kids is never easy as any of us know, but sometimes I just don’t feel as though I know what I can do to ameliorate particular reactions to stressful moments. Perhaps in meditation I can find a level of peace that will allow me to move along a path of lesser resistance, to find tranquility in trying times, perhaps…

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