Monday, September 5, 2011

The cracks of the earth are what deliver the water to maintain all life as we know it. The imperfections of life are what make it real and unique, each one of us are human, we have a commonness that sets us apart from any other creature, we each have a story. The older I become, the more I feel this reality, the more I understand that we have all lived through something.

Autumn and I are going down to SB tomorrow, bright and early for a week-long session of chemo. She is in such a fabulous, healthy place at the moment and I feel like a terrible mom allowing for her to be taken in by what must seem to her, savages. I know, I have to allow this, there is no other way, but it seems as though there could be!

At the breakfast table tomorrow, all she can have is this crappy, chalky fake-banana flavored drink to prepare her for her cat-scan. I’m sure she’ll just really love that. She was sent what we thought was a “gift” from the Radiology department last week, inside the nice brown box was this unfortunate gift. She went around all day saying, “that wasn’t a very nice gift”.

Before we set out, I’ll put the numbing cream on her port to get her ready for her poke and everything else she’ll have to endure. She must feel like she is being tortured for no reason, why her? I can’t really ask that as I know there are so many other children in this world that wouldn’t even have the chance to fight this, let alone win. Nevertheless it feels awful to put her through any of it. When we make it through this week, there will only be one LONG week left, punctuated by many weeks of recovery, but we are getting there…one day at a time.

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