After dropping Sage and Lindsey off at school, Autumn and I headed to the hospital this morning for yet another blood draw! At this point, I almost think Autumn could do it herself. The other week she asked me why we can’t just do this all at home. Why couldn’t I poke her, why do we keep having to go the that hospital? I guess in some cases, the parents do actually do this part. What would have seemed inconceivable to me 7 months ago could actually work today. Isn’t that funny, with enough time and practice, just about anything can become somewhat “normal” for good or bad?
Sometimes I will stop for just one moment, to think about all of this, to really try to take in what is happening, what has happened in the past 7 months. It scares me a bit to do this, to just stop, I’m not very good at that. It occurred to me today that moving and going are what I am good at, I can keep the ball rolling, but I’m not quite sure what to do when it drops. One cannot keep a ball in motion forever (unless of course just shooting through space as we are on planet Earth counts!), therefore I will have to stop at some point and really absorb this entire journey. I envision Autumn a teenager asking what these years were all about, what happened, what was it all like? I hope that at the very least, writing some of this down will help her understand what her life was like as a four year old with cancer. It would be nice if it could help her in any way.
We have become close with the nurses at Sierra, we especially enjoy Lora and her lovely assistant Hilary. Lora gets the job done and does it well, but she also respects Autumn, she gives her a little space when needed. Autumn still has to take a moment before each poke. Her latest request has been to see a nurse dance, she just wants to have them dance! Ha, too funny!! Most oblige willingly but a few just laugh. It is remarkable what we will do in the presence of a young one in need.
We continue to receive wonderful cards and gifts from people every week, Autumn has quite the collection going! She adores it, just marvels in all of this love from everyone. I cannot thank you enough for keeping her in your hearts!